


I Saw You Today

by WanderingSummerBreeze



Category: Outlander (TV)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-21
Updated: 2017-04-21
Packaged: 2018-10-22 01:25:49
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,206
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10686921
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WanderingSummerBreeze/pseuds/WanderingSummerBreeze
Summary: Perhaps a Dear Jamie, sorta piece, from Claire. 6 years after Culloden. Not quite a tear jerker the way Jamie's was.





	I Saw You Today

I saw you today. Before I even knew. I felt a heat spread throughout my body. A growing feeling of love and sadness. It had been so long, I almost forgot. Your daughter was having a tantrum; upset that she was not allowed to play outside in her dress. I looked up to see her eyes like pins, her red hair, like fire under the warm Boston sun, matching her temper. And her lips purse, then open just the smallest amount, before closing again.

I remember when you looked at me like that. Not often, for we didn’t argue often. But when we did, oh, my dearest, Jamie…do you remember? We went for the throat.

Your daughter is the same. She argues with intellect far exceeding her six years, and a strong voice. Not loud. Strong. She’s a stubborn Scot, just like you.

Her constant battle with me, and she does, Jamie, she’s always fighting with me, should make me angry. But it doesn’t. She is as much you, when her temper is at its boiling point, as when she lies her head upon her pillow at night, a smile always present, as if she dreams the same things as you.

I’m speaking of her so harshly, but I think that is just my memory of seeing you. It always has the same, strange, course. I’m happy, overjoyed, overwhelmed, all the things you can think of when you first see your true love, again. But then the fog floats away, and my bloody mind is free to let reality in again. Then, when my eyes look upon the world I live in, a world you are no longer a part of, I shatter. I shatter like a crystal chandelier, dropping to the floor, the glass spilling in all directions. And Jamie, in that moment, my love, I cannot bear another moment without you. I cannot bear to look upon your daughter’s face, your reflection staring back at me in torment, her smile, turning into some sinister jack-o-lantern, the burning candles inside, consuming me.

My anger and pain turn to tears. I lock myself away, at work or on walks. I mourn you as if it was the first day; your loss, two-hundred years and only two minutes’ past. Eventually though, you break through my tears, your hand held out for me, and I take it with such urgency, grateful to let it all fall away, just to be with you again.

I hear the click of the front door, Frank finally making his way home after one of his “late nights at work”.  He ascends the stairs with care, hoping to not wake the house, and I turn my back to the door.

_Leave me in peace, please. Just shower, before I smell another one of your women on you._

I open my eyes at the closing of a door and listen for the soothing sounds of water hitting the tile, thanking all the angel’s in heaven, and devil’s in hell, for the brief reprieve.

I rarely speak your name aloud, it’s presence upon my lips, leaving a sting that pierces my flesh to the very marrow of my bone. But there are times I need to hear it. Times I need to remind myself, _you existed._ Not only existed. You laughed. You lived. You loved.

My God! Did you love...

_“Whadaya think, Sassenach, have I pleased you properly?”_

_I grabbed his shirt and pushed him away, his feet stumbling, dropping him backward into the hay-pile. I laughed, falling back against the barn door, pushing my skirts down._

_“James Fraser, we’re supposed to be working. Anyone could have walked in on us.”_

_“Well then,” he made no move to rise from the hay, “they woulda seen a most educational show.”_

_I crossed my arms, feigning annoyance, “Educational?”_

_Jamie slid to the ground, crawling toward me, his knees scraping against the harsh stone, his kilt having been ripped off in the throes of passion. “Aye. Educational. For a man must ken how to make his woman pleasured.” He knelt below me, his hands, moving my skirts, to rest on my ankles, slowly moving upward to my calves._

_“Must he?”_

_“Aye. When your woman is satisfied, ye have her under yer thumb. She’ll do whatever ye ask of her, all the while, thinkin it was her idea in the first place.”_

_“Hmpf. I think you have that turned around,” I said turning my eyes away, “Anyway,” I sharply turned back, “I thought a woman was supposed to do whatever her husband asked, regardless.”_

_Jamie hands pushed under my shift, his roving fingers, tickling the insides of my thighs. I clamped my thighs tight, imprisoning him. He chuckled softy._

_“She is. But she is so much more,” he pushed my legs apart, his thumb pressing against my clit, “pliable? When pleased.”_

_I smacked his head, while simultaneously pressing into his thumb, my legs going slack against the wall._

_Jamie lifted my skirts, his head ducking underneath, as the scented fabric from our sex, draped across his back. I held him through my skirts, keeping him in place, as he tasted our joint union from minutes before. I could hear Ian call for Jenny outside, but begged for his voice to die away._

_Jamie always knew the perfect combination of teasing and pleasing. For every tickle and nibble, he would push and bite. We learned the workings of my body, together. He was never shy with me. Never held-back his desires to have me wholly, and I, to have him, the same._

_“Jamie. Inside me. Now.”_

_I begged for his fullness, and he did not disappoint. He withdrew his fingers, and ceased his tongue from my lower lips, pulling free of my skirts, before bending against the stall door, hiking my skirts around my waist, and plunging his cock deep inside my body._

_“It would seem, Sassenach,” he spoke in grunts and whispers, “that you’re a wee bit more…pliable, now, would it not?”_

_I ignored his words, choosing to pull my arm back, my hand feeling for the skin of his thrusting buttocks._

_With every drive of his cock, his tongue would lick and kiss the salt off my neck. My name would spill from his lips, over and over. His love for me, declared with his words, his body and his mind, would keep me warm forever…_

Forever.

Oh, Jamie…

You were the most beautiful creature to ever set foot on this Earth.

The shower shut off, and the light from the bathroom, flickered before growing dark. I closed my eyes, feigning sleep, whispering your name softly, begging you to come to me in my dreams. The white sheet I clung to, bore the desires of my mind in my grasp, as I pulled it tighter around my body. I would find you, Jamie. Each night I searched in my dreams, and each night I failed. But I would find you. Even if it was in my final sleep, I would find you.

I felt the bed lower, a weight dragging it down, drowning me. I searched for your soul, with my never-ending chant to you:

We’re alright, Jamie. We’re alright. Safe. Both me, and your child.


End file.
